You’re here to understand what questions you should be asking while going into a new relationship. New relationships can be very exciting! As they begin, you may experience the honeymoon phase. This stage will bring you and your partner a lot of excitement, happiness, contentment, and more.
While this phase in relationships is great and enjoyable, it’s inevitable that they may begin to break down as you get to know your partner better. All relationships are different. Not every relationship will lose its spark and may even grow stronger after the honeymoon phase. However, some relationships may reveal true colors after the honeymoon phase, going in a completely different direction than before.
It’s important that during this phase, or even before committing into a relationship, you are getting to know your partner. It’s always a great idea to ask specific questions tailored to themselves, you, and how they perceive relationships (whether that be social or romantic). Aside from getting to know their hobbies and interests, you want to know how they operate.
Getting to know each other inside and out won’t happen overnight, and you will still need to spend time and experiences with them to see who they are. Asking these questions may also not happen overnight and will come up in your time together. It’s important to keep these in mind, as well as their answers. Although these questions don’t necessarily have a wrong answer, you will be able to tell whether or not their answer is something you agree with.
Click here to read about 3 green flags in a relationship.
By taking these questions into consideration, you may find out a lot about your new or potential partner! Their answers may make you feel more comfortable around them as well. They are great conversation starters and also could be crucial to know before committing to someone. Be prepared for them to potentially ask you these questions back, as well.
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Are you looking for commitment?
This question can help clear the air about any expectations. Not every relationship will follow the same timeline of being in the talking stage for 2 weeks and then deciding to settle down with one another. Maybe your partner is not looking for true commitment, but does enjoy talking and hanging out with you as often as you do.
Make it very clear what you are wanting out of this relationship, and vice versa, to avoid any miscommunication and misunderstanding of one another. This can avoid someone being left hurt and confused.
Click here to read about how clear boundaries can help you avoid toxic relationships.
What do you value most about your current friendships?
Within their current friendships, what do they value the most? Could that be that they can be completely themselves around their friends? Maybe that they feel the utmost trust and loyalty within the group. Or, they may share that they see no value, and secretly dislike all of their friends. Do with this information what you will. Maybe you value someone who has close, trustworthy people in their life, and that’s important to you.
Are you close with your family members? Why or why not?
This question can help you understand their family dynamic. You can learn about their family tree, about any siblings or extended family that they have, and their relationships with them. Maybe they have a close relationship with their parents and have a large family. It could be that they are completely estranged from their family.
Do you have unfinished business with anyone?
Of course, we can all be curious about past lovers in our partner’s life. Do they still remain in communication with past lovers? Do they have a good relationship with them, or did things end on a really bad note? It could be that while dating you before settling down, they were also talking with other people. It’d be good to get an idea of their situation.
Click here to read about major red flags in relationships as well.
How would you define cheating in a relationship?
What would they define cheating in a relationship? Do they think that cheating is limited to solely physical acts, or do they believe that maintaining a dating app counts as cheating? From this question, you may be able to understand their own values and morals when it comes to relationships.
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What are your likes and dislikes when it comes to sex?
It is good to know about your partner’s likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. Maybe they are into things that you are not comfortable exploring. Or, you have similiar interests in sex. This is also a good time to bring up any boundaries around that or express any needs or desires in sex. What do you need to happen for you to feel good, and vice versa to your partner?
What are you grateful for?
This question would be great to understand what your partner is grateful for on a regular basis. This could even be for what they are grateful for about themselves: their sense of humor, their style, their cooking skills. Maybe they appreciate their furry friend or are content in their career path. Either way, this is a great conversation starter and can help you view the world through their lens.
How comfortable are you expressing and communicating your emotions?
Does your partner struggle with communication or self expression when it comes to difficult emotions? Do they tend to bottle things up and explode at the drop of a hat? Are they comfortable sharing if they are going through a difficult time, such as feeling depressed, stressed, or frustrated? You’d like to be with someone who can be vulnerable and open about themselves. Individuals who struggle with communication may cause complications down the line if they are not up-front and honest about what they are going through.
Click here to read 3 common communication problems in relationships.
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