You’re wanting to understand what are some good parenting skills? As parents to young ones, we want to ensure that we are doing what is right for them, and for ourselves. It could be that this is your first child, or your third. Nonetheless, you’re curious to know some parenting skills you can either verify you engage in, or begin incorporating.
Parenting is a difficult occupation. Sometimes, we may question ourselves and our actions. We may feel insecure about our decisions as parents and worry about how they will affect our children. It could be that we are always looking for ways to strengthen our skill sets as well.
It’s important to incorporate these skills on a regular basis with your children. Despite their young age, children are incredibly intelligent and learn things very quickly. Children’s brains are constantly growing and developing due to the information they are receiving around them.
This is why we want to make sure that as parents, we are acting appropriately and in a healthy, positive manner. What children are exposed to now, will affect them as they continue to grow up.
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Although there are many different aspects involved in parenting, we have narrowed down to 3 core parenting skills to practice. The first one being patient with your child. With rambunctious, loud, high energy children, this can seem impossible. However, being patient with them will benefit the both of you in the long run.
Next, you’ll want to acknowledge and validate their feelings. You want to set the premise that they can trust you and come to you – no matter what. Being vulnerable with their feelings to you is very important, and your respect matters. Finally, you’ll want to be a good role model for them – someone they trust, and can look up to.
3 Good Parenting Skills: Be patient with your child
Being patient with your child can look a few different ways. Overall, having patience with your child in every situation is an essential skill to have. However sometimes as parents, we can experience burn out. We can feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, and a lot of other things stressing us out. This can look like anything related to jobs, finances, relationships, and within yourself. It may be difficult to practice patience with your child on top of all of this.
Maybe your child in themselves can be hyperactive and full of energy. They may be bouncing off the walls or struggling with listening or focusing. In certain situations, it is best to seek out additional support through child therapy or family therapy.
Being patient with your child can look like understanding they are exploring and trying to understand the world around them. They may ask you a million questions, such as why is the sky blue? Or, why is the grass green? Rather than brush them off, take the time to sit and talk with them about what you know.
It may be that by accident, your child has spilled juice all over the couch. Rather than be visibly upset and frustrated, practice patience with them. Speak to your child in calm tones of voice. Model how you would like your child to speak in times of upset as well.
This can look like also practicing active listening to them at the moment. It’s important to children that their parents are interested in what they have to say or do. If you are overwhelmed with work, you may brush off your child’s persistence to look at their drawing (for example).
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3 Good Parenting Skills: Acknowledge and validate their feelings
Teach your child how to express their emotions with you. This can look like modeling doing this for them with examples. Such as, “I am feeling a little sad that I didn’t get to play with you too long today”. Or, “I’m feeling upset that the grocery store was out of my favorite snack”. From there, you can model appropriate responses to these emotions.
This can look like explaining how it is ok to feel sad or upset over things. When we communicate our feelings, we can move to create a plan to resolve or cope with them. Eventually, your child will be able to express how they feel, and derive their own plan for coping or problem solving.
We want to make sure that our children feel safe being vulnerable with us. When we scold a child for being sad or upset, we are invalidating them. It essentially tells them that it’s not ok to experience or express certain emotions. It’s important that as parents, we are teaching our children that it is okay to express themselves.
This can look like telling them that crying is a sign of weakness. Or that being upset over something is “stupid” and to “just get over it already”. When we spread these harmful mindsets to our children, they will be affected by them in a negative way.
As parents, we want to validate their emotions as often as possible. Even if we know that it may not be worthwhile for them to be feeling these emotions. Let’s say that at the grocery store, they see a toy they are very interested in. However, it’s not in the budget for this trip, and you will be leaving it behind.
Your child may become noticeably upset, maybe crying or whining about wanting this toy very badly. Although you know your child will eventually forget about this, you want to acknowledge and validate their feelings around it. “I see that you’re sad over not being able to get that toy. I understand that, as it is a cool toy.” From there, you can suggest alternatives, “We have a similar toy to that at home” or “I’ll make sure to consider that for a birthday / holiday gift!”.
In all, it’s important that we are modeling healthy expressions of emotion and how we can cope/problem solve with it. Another thing to remember – is that we want to let our children try to regulate their emotions on their own. When we rush to fix things for our children, they may not have the skill sets to do it on their own.
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3 Good Parenting Skills: Be a good role model
Being a good role model is essential! In the previous points, we stated how we can model the behaviors we desire from our children. We may desire them to also express patience in their everyday lives. As well as encouraging them to be open and honest with their feelings and thoughts.
You can be a good role model for them in a number of ways. One way is to model being kind and gentle with animals, for example. Demonstrating gently petting an animal and respecting them (not pulling their tail, poking them, etc) will show your child how to act as well.
Maybe you want to practice kindness in front of your child. Model for them how to treat others with respect and kindness. This can look like telling the grocery store worker that you hope they have a nice rest of their day.
Modeling appropriate and healthy behavior will go a long way. You can also be a good role model by showing up for your family. This can look like putting time and energy into helping with school projects. Maybe they want to draw with you, or have storytelling, so you put all your effort into making it a fun time with them.
It could be that your child plays sports or engages in activities such as gymnastics, going on hikes, or swimming. Being a good role model in these situations could look like standing by to offer unconditional love and support. When we are good role models for our kids, the may grow up just like us!
That can be like having a similar level of respect for others, animals, and themselves. They may also be inspired to finish a difficult task, support their family members, and overall enjoy the time they have with you.
At the end of it all, child therapy in Simi Valley or family counseling is always a great option. Sometimes, we as parents can seek out some additional support. Going to therapy not only helps provide your child with coping mechanisms and skill sets to use for emotional regulation. But, it helps support the family as a whole.
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About Simi Psychological Group: We are a team of psychologists and therapists in Simi Valley, Ca offering an array of therapy services.
At our therapy practice in Simi Valley, Ca we offer Child therapy and family counseling, Teen therapy, Anxiety Treatment, Depression Therapy, Marriage Counseling, and Neuropsychological Testing. Now Offering Online Therapy in Los Angeles and Online Counseling Ventura County