You’re here to understand common communication problems in relationships. This may also apply to other social relationships, like friends or family members. These common problems may be present in your conversations with others, either being aware that you do these, or someone else does these.
It can be difficult to feel heard and understood when there are communication problems in the way. Maybe you grew up feeling that unless you raised your voice, people were not listening to you. Or, that you are needing to interrupt someone to feel heard and understood. Due to this, you or your partner may fail to truly listen due to the yelling or interrupting.
It could be that you feel your partner knows you so well, they should already know how you are feeling. That they should be able to tell what you are thinking and what to do, based on your body language or current emotional state. It may anger you or your partner when they feel the need to explain themselves and what is going on for them.
Finally, letting your emotions dictate a response may be a common communication problem. It could be that you don’t really want to hurt your partner’s feelings or make them upset. You may tell them something that is out of character, based on your emotional state. This could look like telling someone, “You’re so needy and annoying!” out of frustration, when you don’t actually feel that way.
By practicing self awareness, you will develop the skills to lessen or rid of these common communication problems in your everyday life. It’s important to be aware when you are engaging in these three behaviors, to ensure that you can catch yourself in the act. By strengthening your skillset on reducing these behaviors, you are more likely to have meaningful, respectable conversations with others.
A psychologist in Ventura County is able to help you recognize these patterns and provide you with skill sets to grow and create real change in your everyday life.
3 Common Communication Problems in Relationships: Yelling / Interrupting
It could be that you learned this behavior from your childhood, or recently have just become overwhelmed with stress. This problem in relationships for yelling and interrupting someone can stem from different areas of your life. It may feel natural for you to yell at other people to get your point heard. Or, that you need to interrupt someone so that they can hear your point of view.
By raising your voice at others, it gives you a sense of empowerment that you are being heard and listened to. In reality, they may physically hear your voice, but may not take in or consider the words you are speaking. This can be difficult for progress to be made in your conversations.
One way to halt yelling in your conversations may be to practice self awareness in the midst of them. Take note of what bodily sensations come up for you before you yell – do you feel yourself breathing heavily? Maybe your body is tensing up? You can feel your jaw clenching?
In these instances, it is good to take a break and walk away from the conversation to calm down. You can take a moment to splash water on your face, or simply revisit this conversation after a short break to cool down.
Online couples therapy in California is available now, and may work around you and your partner’s busy regular schedules.
3 Common Communication Problems in Relationships: Assuming your partner can read your mind
It’s understandable that we feel since our partners know us so well, they should be able to understand how we are feeling based on our body language or emotional state. However, that is not the case, and they are not able to read your mind.
It is important to communicate how you are feeling through “I” statements to express what is going on for you. This can look like saying, “I am just feeling really annoyed about the dishes in the sink right now”. Rather than scoffing, rolling your eyes at your partner, and trying to hint why you are upset.
When we hint and engage in passive aggressive behaviors, we rob ourselves and others of a worthwhile conversation to make change and better understand one another. This can also make things tense in a conversation, where the person feels that there is no way they can simply read your mind.
Even if they may have an idea of what you are upset about, it’s still important for you to verbalize this. Saying how you feel aloud will also help you be able to put your thoughts together more clearly, and they will make more sense to yourself as well.
Marriage counseling in Simi Valley, Ca can help you make breakthrough changes in your marriage, by improving your communication skills with one another.
3 Common Communication Problems in Relationships: Letting your emotions dictate a response
In times of heated conversation, it could be that you let your emotions get the best of you. And this is a very common thing that happens. Not just with you, but with many people. Sometimes, we can feel so overwhelmed by a situation and so overwhelmed by our emotions.
We may feel them boiling up inside of us. Frustration, stress, feeling betrayed by someone, feeling unheard. It may boil up until we just cannot take it anymore, and it explodes on us and others. It may be a moment where we feel out of control with ourselves, and ultimately say something hurtful.
Maybe this can look like being in a draining argument with your partner, such as circling around the same issues but not coming to a resolution. Finally, you cannot take the stress of the situation anymore. The heat is getting to you, and you are releasing steam whether you like it or not. And you yell at them, “You are such a bad partner, I wish I never met you!”.
But in reality, you know you don’t really mean that. You mean the opposite of that, and want to be able to express your love and gratitude to your partner. Now that these words have left your mouth, there is no going back. You cannot have your partner un-hear that, or you to un-speak that.
When we let our emotions dictate a response, we stray further away from what we are really trying to say. Maybe we were really trying to say to them, “I have been feeling frustrated lately due to the lack of communication around house chores”. It can be hard to recover after saying mean or hurtful things to one another.
Together, you can begin learning how to become more self aware of these behaviors in couples counseling in Simi Valley, Ca. You will develop skill sets to recognize when you or your partner are engaging in these communication problems. You will also learn how to support your partner, better understand one another, and truly listen to each other. From there, you and your partner can rebuild your relationship and strengthen it even more.
Consider calling or emailing us today for a free consultation to get started in couples counseling in Simi Valley, or online couples counseling in Ventura County.
About Simi Psychological Group: We are a team of psychologists and therapists in Simi Valley, Ca offering an array of therapy services.
At our therapy practice in Simi Valley, Ca we offer Child therapy and family counseling, Teen therapy, Anxiety Treatment, Depression Therapy, Marriage Counseling, and Neuropsychological Testing. Now Offering Online Therapy in Los Angeles and Online Counseling Ventura County