You’re wondering what are 3 green flags in a relationship? Sometimes, we can focus on identifying negative aspects of a relationship. Maybe we want to really make sure that we are identifying and avoiding toxic people and behaviors. However, it’s also important to search for green flags in a relationship as well!
It’s important to know what good traits you are looking for in a relationship. Are you wanting someone who makes you feel comfortable and safe? Perhaps you want someone who has an open mind and likes trying new things.
Look out for these green flags to ensure that you will be in a healthy relationship! Especially when you are engaging in these behaviors as well, the two of you can flourish. Although relationships are not perfect, how you and your partner handle difficult situations matters a lot. It also matters how you treat each other, even when you may not be that happy with one another.
At the end of the day, getting started in couples counseling is a great route to go as well. Not only will you and your partner strengthen each other, but you will strengthen yourselves. Couples therapy can be a great neutral ground to better understand one another. It will also provide the both of you with skills to make your relationship as enjoyable as possible.
3 Green Flags in a Relationship: Clear, healthy communication
Clear, healthy communication is abundant in your relationship. Both you and your partner feel comfortable to talk about what’s on your mind, or what’s going on in your life. You don’t feel worried or that you’re walking on thin ice around them.
Even when you are feeling upset or having an argument, you still feel comfortable talking to them. There is no fear in bringing up a tough topic or any feelings that you have. Your partner wants to genuinely understand what’s going on for you, and validate that. They would not want to cause you further distress, or be dismissive of your feelings. Although it may not be a comfortable topic, your partner still tolerates it, and is able to actively listen.
You feel safe speaking your mind around them, and you do not feel judged, dismissed, or belittled for it. Rather, conversations flow easily, and they can engage with you in an array of topics. There is mutual understanding and listening from both sides, to ensure that everyone feels validated.
They are also able to clearly and healthily communicate their feelings to you as well. If they have a difficult topic to talk about, they will bring it up in a healthy way. They won’t bring it up at inappropriate times, such as in social outings with friends or family. They respect your privacy and feelings, and want to make sure you two are in a mutual environment to discuss something meaningful to them.
Rather than engage in petty behaviors or stonewall you, your partner can say, “Hey, I’m feeling upset about this, and I would like to sit down and discuss this when you are able to.” The same goes for how you communicate with your partner. For example, let’s say that you say that exact thing, and they’re able to reply with, “I understand you feeling upset about that, I’ll be free to sit down with you in about an hour”.
It could be that there is no disagreement or upsetting topic to discuss at all, but they still practice healthy communication with you! Rather than going all day without checking in, maybe they send a quick note to let you know that they are, or will be busy, and they will check in when they can. Or, they are open and honest about their lives with you, and enjoy sharing news such as family, friends, or work situations.
Whatever the form of communication may be, it’s essential that you feel safe, mutual, and validated. You also feel included in what’s going on in their lives, and don’t feel scared to bring up something that upsets you.
Couples therapy in Simi Valley, Ca helps both you and your partner feel comfortable sharing your feelings.
3 Green Flags in a Relationship: Respect goes both ways
It’s important that you feel respected in your relationship, and that you both equally respect each other. Respect can pertain to many different things. One thing could be boundaries. When you set boundaries with your partner, they respect them. This could look like boundaries around public displays of affection, for example.
You can have mutual respect in a relationship in a few different ways. The first one being trust, where you both are confident in each other and your relationship. You don’t feel like they’re hiding anything from you, or doing anything behind your back. You treat your partner how you want to be treated as well.
A second way to have mutual respect in a relationship is to remain reliable and accountable. This can look like following through with any set plans that you may have, whether it be date night or going to run errands together. If they plan to call you at certain times, they call you to follow through with that.
Maybe you feel like you can trust them to take care of your pets, be around your children, or borrow your car. You have trust for one another and do not feel worried about leaving anything in their possession.
Simi Valley therapists are here to help you and your partner create real change in your relationships.
3 Green Flags in a Relationship: You feel supported and comfortable being vulnerable
You feel supported and comfortable being vulnerable in your relationship! One example could be your partner supporting your dreams or interests. Maybe they are proud of you for meeting goals at work, or getting schooling assignments completed. Perhaps you run a small business, and they make you feel supported every chance you get.
It’s also important to feel vulnerable in relationships. When we are guarded or act in defense, we can communicate the wrong things to our partner. Being able to let our guard down, feel relaxed, and be open and honest with our partner is a great thing. They make you feel appreciated for your differences!
Being able to be who you are is important. You don’t want to be with someone who you feel you can’t express yourself around. Maybe you are into completely opposite things, for example. Even though they may not have the same passion as you, they still support you being who you are.
They don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed of who you are. Rather, they uplift you and stand up for you. They make time to listen to you rave about your passions. It’s important to them that they give you the space to be yourself and have your own interests outside of the relationship.
At the end of the day, couples counseling is a great thing to get started in, even if you don’t have any presenting concerns. Maybe you want to briefly try it out, just to see how you can better support and care for one another. It’s a great way to explore each other’s love languages, and be able to resolve any issues in a healthy way.