Lately, you’ve noticed that your partner is feeling insecure lately. This could be due to many things. Long hours at work, not being satisfied with their overall appearance, or overthinking are a few examples.
Regardless of your relationship, it’s inevitable that you or your partner will have moments of insecurity. These moments often include you looking for some reassurance and comfort. Your partner may be able to express why they are feeling a lack of confidence. Hopefully this leads and bring ideas about how this can be resolved.
Past relationships, whether it be with family or loved ones, can set the tone for your partner’s confidence moving forward. Although you are not meant to fix them from their past trauma, there are ways you can help in boosting their confidence.
Being able to have good communication with your partner is essential to a healthy relationship. Partners express insecurity in a number of ways, including protest behavior. Protest behavior looks like constantly calling or texting or lashing out in an attempt to get your attention. This is a destructive behavior and can lead to further complications in the relationship.
You want to see your partner feeling confident and comfortable in their own skin. You know they thrive when they feel good about themselves and don’t feel the need to compare themselves to others. The road to self love is bumpy. However, you can guide your partner into feeling like themselves again.
How to boost your partner’s confidence: Show appreciation on a regular basis
Showing appreciation on a regular basis will remind your partner that you cherish them in your life. It shows that you remember the little things about them, and want them to feel loved.
This can look like occasionally stopping to give them a hug. You can present them with their favorite snack/meal, or telling them directly how much you appreciate them. You can tell them, “hey, you know what? I really appreciate you,” or, you can be more specific in describing what exactly you are appreciative for.
This could be for their patient demeanor. Or their attention to detail, that your partner ensures you eat a meal three times a day. To feel acknowledged and appreciated helps lift our spirits up that we are doing something right. This is in a world where we feel we are doing everything wrong.
If you know something would make them feel good, such as surprising them at their home after a long day of work, or completing a chore they have yet to do, it would be a sign of understanding and care for your partner.
Our Simi Valley therapists work with you and your partner on ways to show appreciation and connect with one another in the moment.
Boost your partner’s confidence: Find out what they’re insecure about
Your partner may be feeling insecure due to self appearance or other aspects of their lives. They may be unsatisfied with their body image, their hair, or skin complexion. You can do things like buy them some nice face cleanser or take them out for a haircut. Money can’t buy everything, so although it’s nice to gift them when you can occasionally, consider having a serious talk about their insecurities first.
Sit down and have a serious conversation about what holds them back from loving themselves everyday – it may not even be a physical characteristic. It could be their lack of vulnerability, intimacy, or some personal roadblock they are working on.
Find little things to compliment your partner on everyday – maybe even things they aren’t feeling confident on. This could look like if they are unhappy with their current space in life – feeling unsatisfied with their career choices or insecure about job performance.
Make sure to take the time to uplift your partner and show active support and encouragement. This can help them reach their goals and accomplishments.
In couples therapy in Simi Valley, Ca your therapist will work with you and your partner on uncovering some underlying issues for insecurities as well as tools and coping mechanisms to ensure proper communication about them.
How to boost your partner’s confidence: Make sure you’re practicing your own self care
You don’t want to be mentally drained from attending to your partner, and if you are feeling fatigued from providing support and reassurance, it could be a sign that you also need to check in with yourself and how you are doing.
Take time to also reflect on yourself and how your partner’s insecurities may be affecting you. You want to ensure they are feeling good, but it’s important that you are addressing your own mental state as well. Learning to cope with your partner’s depression also means learning your own cues and state of mind.
If you are irritable, and find it hard to reassure your partner, it may also be beneficial to talk about your insecurities and your needs, as well as establishing boundaries with them.
How to boost your partner’s confidence: Seek out a couples therapist
At the end of the day, you may not be fully able to help heal your partner’s insecurities. You have the ability to make real change, by showing appreciation, having deep talks with them, and making sure to check in with yourself so that you are not fatigued in the process.
It is always a good idea to consult with professional help. Seeing a couples therapist allows for a neutral, vulnerable environment with an unbiased therapist, dedicated to understanding both of your concerns.
A couples therapist will listen to both of your needs and be able to understand underlying reasons for miscommunication or insecurities, and be able to help the two of you working on mending that.
Consider starting couples therapy with Simi Psychological Group today. Our licensed professionals are dedicated to providing compassionate, equal care to help you and your partner create the real change you desire.
About Simi Psychological Group
At our therapy practice in Simi Valley, Ca we offer Child therapy and family counseling, Teen therapy, Anxiety Treatment, Depression Therapy, Marriage Counseling, and Neuropsychological Testing. Offering Online Therapy in Los Angeles and Online Counseling Ventura County