5 Reasons Why Exploring Your Sexuality is Beneficial

You’ve decided it’s time. You’ve put it off long enough. You’re finally ready to explore…looking for sex therapy Simi Valley. Sexuality can be a touchy subject (no pun intended). Depending on the company, it may be something talked about in hushed whispers, or something celebrated (as it should be) with jubilation. The fact of the matter is, sexuality is an essential part of who we are as human beings, and as such, our sexuality is something to embrace wholeheartedly, with confidence and joy. The journey to full self-acceptance of our sexuality, however, is all too often marred with fear, shame, antiquated ideas, or simply a lack of knowledge.

At Simi Psychological Group, we understand that. Our qualified psychologists in Thousand Oaks are trained in human relationships, including sexual health, and offer sex therapy to help you address emotional or mental roadblocks related to sexual issues.

Part of sexual health includes connection to sexual identity, feeling comfortable and confident in your sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexuality overall. It includes having an awareness of your sexual boundaries, respecting others’ sexual boundaries, and practicing in a safe and responsible way. That said, exploring your sexuality is a significant part of overall sexual health.

Here are five reasons it’s important to explore your sexuality.

1.   Exploring your sexuality leads to a better understanding of yourself.

“This above all; to thine own self be true.”  –Shakespeare

Expressed so eloquently in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, the importance of being one’s self has been famously echoed by a multitude of others, including Dr. Suess’s more playful rendition: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” 

Exploring your sexuality is a crucial part of figuring out who you are. And figuring out who you are is part of living a happy and fulfilling life.

Living in accordance with your own freely chosen values, desires, and interests is a fundamental part of being emotionally healthy.

By exploring your sexuality, you allow yourself the freedom to try new things, be open to new ideas, and grow as a person. It allows you the opportunity to fully connect with your most authentic self and avoid the pain of pretending to be something or someone you’re not.

Sexuality is one of the ways that we become enlightened, actually, because it leads us to self-knowledge.Alice Walker

2.   Exploring your sexuality increases feelings of self-acceptance and builds greater acceptance of others.

As you get to know more about your likes and dislikes and who and what you prefer to do in the bedroom, you come to appreciate that part of yourself. By honoring your personal preferences, exploring what interests you, and learning how to identify and respect your own sexual boundaries (and those of others), you make room for who you are and who you want to be. With greater acceptance of the self comes greater acceptance of others.

Sexual exploration allows you to challenge learned inhibitions (with a trusted and safe partner), and reduce feelings of shame you may have internalized from others. Sexual exploration is about freedom of self-expression, ownership of one’s sexual autonomy, and embracing self and others.

Sex therapy in Simi Valley through Simi Psychological Group can give you the confidence to embrace who you are.

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit”  – E.E. Cummings

3.   Exploring your sexuality increases self-confidence.

man and woman cuddling while laying in bed.

Exploring your sexuality can make you a much more confident person, both in terms of sexuality as well as in general. With sexuality playing such a big part in who we are, being comfortable with ourselves sexually boosts self-esteem, which is reflected in our everyday interactions with others.

People who are secure in who they are give off a certain vibe that allows others to feel comfortable around them.  The reverse is also true. When you feel insecure about yourself and lack self-confidence, that too comes across to others, and can sometimes be a turn-off. 

By embracing your sexuality with confidence, you will be able to deliver more pleasure to the people with whom you are intimate.

If you’re feeling shy about expressing your sexuality, our Psychologists in Thousand Oaks can support you as you work through those insecurities. We offer a range of services, including sex therapy and marriage therapy, to assist you on your journey.

4.   Exploring your sexuality reduces stress, depression, and anxiety.

Is sex a biological need? No. You won’t actually die without sex. But the biologically driven libido (aka your sex drive, one’s enthusiasm and interest in sexual contact and intimacy) does serve a purpose beyond the continuation of a species. While human beings don’t require sex to survive or even thrive, we DO have a psychological need for connection. Sexual intimacy is one way of meeting that human need for connection, which in turn reduces stress, depression, and anxiety.

Understanding sex and sexuality as a means of human connection may help eliminate any stigma attached to the concept and address repressive attitudes.

Sexual repression occurs when a person prevents themselves from feeling or experiencing natural sexual urges and desires.A sexually repressed person usually holds negative beliefs about sex that they may have learned from family, friends, or religious institutions, believing the act of sex and everything about sex is “dirty” or wrong.

two women looking into each other's eyes smiling


But suppressing thoughts and feelings related to intimacy and sexual exploration doesn’t just impact your experience between the sheets.

When you deny yourself the opportunity to explore your sexual nature, you deny a very important and vital part of yourself.

You’re less likely to connect authentically with another during intimate moments if you feel uptight, awkward, guilty, or uncomfortable. Lack of connection to others increases feelings of isolation, stress, depression, and insecurity.


Exploring your sexuality promotes physical and emotional wellness by reducing feelings of isolation, stress, depression, and anxiety.

5.   Exploring your sexuality gives direction and increases satisfaction.

Lastly, sexual exploration can help you find your true path in life as you learn more about yourself, others, and the opportunities for sexual connection. Being open to new (safe) experiences may lead you in an unexpected life direction.

man wrapping his arms around the back of another man smiling

Understanding who you are sexually and overcoming limiting beliefs will help you choose partners who are right for you, as opposed to maintaining unhappy or unfulfilling relationships.

Exploring your sexuality and learning more about your sexual preferences enhances your sexual pleasure and makes for a more fulfilling and satisfying experience.

Feeling more confident sexually will likely have a positive effect on your partner as well.

Our team of licensed therapists In Thousand Oaks is here to support you, no matter what your therapeutic endeavor. At the Simi Psychological Group, we treat anxiety, depression, trauma, and more! Reach out today for a free consultation at (805) 842-1994. To read more on healthy relationships and couples, check out our blogs.