4 Reasons To Consider Online Couples Therapy during Covid19

Life is really overwhelming right now. Online couples therapy can help. You and your partner are going through a lot and typically you meet eye to eye on a lot more things but now it’s feeling nearly impossible. Between the hustle and bustle of kids, working from home, worries for the future, you are headed in uncharted territory and it’s all a bit much. 

Unfortunately this pandemic has caused much of us to feel a sense of loneliness. It’s a little confusing as to why loneliness happens when you are with your partner so much more than usual. When we continue to feel lonely and distant from our partner this can lead to conflict, frustration, and ultimate separateness from our partner. You are able to get some strong glimpses of connection and support from one another but it’s often fleeting. It’s like its there for a moment and then something happens and irritability is so much stronger than normal. 

couple enjoying coffee and playing guitar

Maybe your marriage looks like this:

You wake up in the morning knowing that you have a long day ahead of you. You need to take care of the kids. Help them with their homework. Laundry. Dishes. It’s a repeat of yesterday. Your husband is working from home (barely so) and you have a bit of work from home too. It’s been pretty tough to navigate dealing with the kids and making sure their needs of met. You know they are getting pretty bored and irritated with this whole thing. So are you.

You and your husband are trying to work together through this all but its not so easy. You notice that you are arguing over small things. Things that don’t really matter. Your marriage is feeling more on the rocks than it has in a really long time. You feel alone. He’s in his own world. But you are too in a way. Conversations with one another are rarer and when they happen its not all that fulfilling. It’s kind of distant. 

Eventually you wind up in a place where you are feeling more hopeless and confused about what the future holds. Your marriage is struggling and you know you need some help but not sure where to start. You want things to be at peace again in your marriage. Connecting again with your partner. You want a partner through this. After all you know how hard it is and having a partner can make all the difference. 

Why consider online marriage counseling during Covid19? 

When you look at your marriage today you feel a bit disappointed. You know the vision it is you want to have in your relationship but it’s feeling off these days. The pandemic has a big impact on your marriage and you need some support to get through this time. 

Reason one: Consider online couples therapy 

Continuing to do the same isn’t working. Oftentimes we get stuck in a rut where we do the same things over and over. It’s not your fault, we are set up to continue to do what we know, and what is within our comfort zone. It is the evil of predictability that we so seek. But what if we can predict it to be bad? To not work for us? To be one of those situations where yet again you don’t feel heard or understood by your partner. 

The reality is that when we continue to do the same things. Have the same reactivity. Try to be heard in the same way. Communicate in the same way. Nothing changes. Things don’t progress in the direction of the vision you have for your marriage. 

During online marriage counseling sessions, our therapists work with you and your partner on connecting, communicating, and responding in a different way. Because continuing to do the same isn’t going to get you anywhere. We help you find ways to listen differently to your partner. To better understand what he/she is really saying. And ultimately to help you connect, love and work together in ways that are much more aligned with the vision you have for your marriage. 

happy couple hugging and enjoying sunset

Reason two: Consider online couples therapy 

You know this is hard times and you need an extra push. This is not just a regular time. We are all going through overwhelm. We can’t take care of ourselves in the same way. Maybe you two aren’t able to take care of your marriage in the same way. No date nights. No babysitters. It’s tough on a marriage. And to top it all off, maybe you have kids around you 24/7. Irritability is higher than normal. You know that you and your partner want the best for each other but it’s not coming across in a way that is helpful. 

Unfortunately, when hard times come and we don’t reroute and make adjustments to deal with them, it can take us on a negative path. This path can really be destructive for a marriage if you don’t take action to make things better. When everyone is more overwhelmed it’s harder to hear one another. In turn things become much more of an internal process rather than something that is shared.

At Simi Psychological Group, we will help your marriage adjust to this new reality. Adjust and refocus on connecting in ways that are growing rather than stagnant. We know how hard this time is. And we want you to feel connected again because feeling alone in your marriage is too hard. 

Reason three: Consider online couples therapy 

Intimacy has been pretty low between the two of you. When was the last time you two had a good solid kiss? Held hands? Had sex? If you are needing to really think about these answers, then maybe it’s been longer than you want it to be. Most likely you want to feel intimately connected again but you don’t know where to start. Resentments have built up. And each time you try to connect you feel like you aren’t understood. 

The truth is that intimacy will help you both have the space to be head. A lot of times people say that feeling heard is a prerequisite for intimacy. But intimacy is what helps someone build space to feel connected and heard. Its tough to hold off on this until everything else is fixed. 

Our  team of therapists and psychologists will help you and your partner connect intimately again. We will help you identify the roadblocks affecting your ability to allow yourselves to connect intimately. We will work with the two of you to simultaneously understand one another and connect intimately. 

woman holding the arm of a man in a grey sweater

Reason four: Consider online couples therapy 

You know that working on the marriage will help the whole family. Your relationship difficulties are affecting your ability to co-parent and communicate about necessary things for the family. You want to be able to have a partner that you can talk about things coming up with the kids or worries you have. But if there is this irritability or tension then its hard to get on the same page about all the other essential stuff. And then the  whole family suffers. 

Your ability to take care of your marriage will help the whole family. In fact it is the most important part of helping the family be strong. You want to first feel strong as a unit with one another and this will translate to all parts of your family’s lives. 

Our Simi Valley therapy practice is offering online couples therapy to help you and your partner reconnect, rebuild, and refocus during this difficult and trying time. We know that this decision to help your marriage get to a better place will help you in all parts of your life. 

Written by, 

Donna Novak, Psy.D. 

I’m a licensed clinical psychologist who empowers people to work through the roadblocks that are holding them back and find meaning and purpose in their lives.

I specialize in working with anxiety and in helping adolescents and their families, adults, and couples better their relationships and find direction. Rather than shy away from the tough stuff in life, I prefer to face it head-on, together. I believe that challenges are part of being human and that everyone has the potential to become their own life’s navigator. So they never have to feel out of control or at the mercy of their circumstances. Learn more

Simi Psychological Group Therapy Services

At our Simi Valley therapy practice, we offer Child therapy and family counseling, Teen therapy, Anxiety Treatment, Depression Therapy, Marriage Counseling, and Neuropsychological Testing. We are now offering online therapy in Ventura County and online therapy in Los Angeles for most services.