Losing a loved one is one of the most intense and challenging experiences. The emotional pain that comes from a loss can feel unbearable, leaving you lost and uncertain about the future. It’s typical to wonder if there will ever be an end to the grief and if life will ever feel normal again. Here at Simi Psychological Group, we know the depth of your grief and are here to help you move through it.
In this blog, we will explore the timeline of grief, what you might expect, and how grief counseling Simi Valley can provide the guidance and support you need to navigate this complicated journey.
The Stages of Grief Are Not Always Linear
We often hear about the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, these stages are not linear; you might experience them in different sequences or revisit some stages multiple times.
“Accepting that everyone’s journey with grief is different can allow you the grace you need to get through it.”
How Grief Changes Over Time
Everyone experiences grief in their own way, and its intensity can change over time, especially as you try to also balance work, relationships, and self-care. Here’s a closer look at how grief might unfold for you within the first few years:
Immediate Effects
Right after the loss of a loved one, it often, initially, feels like shock and numbness. This period can seem surreal. You may feel out of touch with reality or haven’t fully processed the loss.
Months After the Loss
As the shock begins to wear off, the reality of the loss kicks in. You might experience intense sadness, longing, emptiness, or the inability to challenge negative thoughts. Everyday routines may become difficult and you might feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. This period can be tough as the support from others might start to wane, yet your grief is still very present.
The First Year
The first year is often marked by significant milestones and anniversaries, which can trigger waves of grief. Birthdays, holidays, and the anniversary of your loved one are especially poignant times. During the first year, you might find yourself adjusting to a new “normal” by finding coping mechanisms that work for you and slowly re-engaging with life. While the pain of the loss is still fresh, it’s important to allow yourself to feel and process these emotions fully.
Years Down the Line
Over the years, the intensity of your grief may lessen, but it never fully disappears. The loss becomes a part of your life story. Certain triggers such as specific dates or memories can bring back strong emotions. You may find that you have developed a new sense of normalcy, and while you can experience joy and fulfillment, the absence of your loved one is always felt in both big and small ways. Grief counseling can be a valuable resource, providing ongoing support in healthily integrating the loss into your life.
While these are general benchmarks in the grieving process, it’s important to remember that everyone’s experience will play out differently from person to person. If you are at any of these points in the grieving process and need additional support, feel free to read about 9 Tips to Support Yourself During the Grieving Process.
Different Timelines for Different Losses
Grief can manifest differently depending on the nature of your loss. Losing a parent, partner, child, sibling, or friend can bring unique challenges and timelines for healing.
Loss of a Parent
In addition to a deep sense of loss, the death of a parent can bring a shift in your sense of identity. The timeline for grieving a parent is complex, as it often involves mourning the loss of guidance, support, and unconditional love. It may also include dealing with unresolved issues or unanswered questions, adding layers of complexity to your emotions. The grieving process may take time to adjust to life without their presence, and sorrow can resurface during significant life events that you wish they could witness. It can be beneficial to seek support for your mental health during this time.
Loss of a Partner
The loss of a partner can feel like losing a part of yourself. The daily routines and plans you shared are abruptly altered, which can make the grieving process particularly intense and prolonged. This type of loss often involves dealing with a deep sense of loneliness and adjusting to a new life without your partner by your side. The grieving process can be influenced by the nature of your relationship and the circumstances surrounding their death. Over time, you may find ways to honor their memory while discovering new sources of support and companionship.
Loss of a Child
This is usually considered one of the most devastating losses. The grief can feel all-encompassing and may require extensive support to navigate. Parents who lose a child may start to question their sense of purpose. If you have other children, it can feel difficult as you might struggle with guilt while giving attention to them. Seeking support from professionals and support groups can be crucial in coping with this type of loss.
Loss of a Sibling
Losing a sibling can leave a significant void, as siblings often share lifelong bonds and memories. The grieving process often involves the loss of a shared history. It can be challenging to adjust to life without your sibling’s presence, and grief may resurface during family gatherings and shared traditions. Over time, finding ways to honor their memory and keep their spirit alive can aid in the healing process.
Loss of a Friend
Losing a close friend can be a deeply painful experience, as friends often play a significant role in our lives. The timeline for grieving a friend can vary depending on the depth of your relationship and their role in your life. It may involve mourning the loss of shared experiences, inside jokes, and a unique bond that can’t be replaced. Grieving the loss of a friend may require social support and reconnecting with other friends or loved ones who also had a relationship with that friend. Many find the benefits of group therapy helpful during this time.
Will I Ever Feel Like Myself Again?
It’s natural to ask if you will ever feel like yourself again after experiencing such a significant loss. The answer is yes, but it might look different than life before the loss of your loved one. The pain from grief changes us, but it also provides an opportunity for growth and deeper self-understanding. Over time, with the right support, you can find a new sense of normalcy and even discover strengths you didn’t know you had. Embracing new routines and activities, allowing yourself to experience joy, and staying connected with your support system are all part of the healing journey.
“Remember that healing doesn’t mean forgetting the person you lost; it means learning to live life fully while honoring their memory.”
When Is It Time to Seek Professional Help?
While everyone’s journey with grief is unique, there are signs that it might be time to seek professional help outside of your friends and family’s support:
Nonstop Feelings of Hopelessness
If you feel like you just can’t move past the feelings of hopelessness or despair that accompany your grief, it might be beneficial to talk to a therapist.
Inability to Function in Daily Life
Having difficulty performing daily tasks or maintaining relationships can be a huge sign that you need additional support.
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Turning to substances, isolating yourself, or engaging in self-destructive behaviors are indicators that it’s time to seek professional help.
If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs mentioned above, grief counseling can help you move past your grief in healthier ways. Talking to an experienced therapist can provide the guidance and tools necessary to navigate these difficult emotions and help you create a path toward healing.
If you’re curious to dive deeper into how seeking professional help can make a difference, read about How Grief Therapy Can Aid in Mourning.
Grief Counseling in Simi Valley is Available For You
Grieving is a deeply personal and non-linear journey. Remember to be patient with yourself and allow your emotions to unfold naturally. If you find yourself struggling with the intensity of your feelings, remember that help is available at Simi Psychological Group.
We offer grief counseling in Simi Valley to support you through every stage of this complex journey. Our warm and understanding therapists are here to provide a safe and nurturing environment where your emotions are honored and validated.
Contact us today at (805) 842-1994 to schedule a consultation or learn more about our services. Together, we can navigate the path of grief and create real change in your healing journey.
Dr. Novak is the group practice owner and licensed psychologist at Simi Psychological Group a therapy practice in Simi Valley, California. Simi Psychological Group offers a variety of services including trauma therapy, couples therapy, anxiety therapy, teen therapy, and more. Simi Psychological Group emphasizes the importance of creating real change by making sure to get to the root of your struggles.
