Grief and Everyday Life: Balancing Work, Relationships, and Self-care

Grieving is hard enough. You may want to just be in a vacuum in your grief and not have to deal with all the things around you. Life doesn’t stop and you have to keep going whether it’s work that needs your attention or your family that still needs you. You may be wondering how other people do it all at the same time and continue forward. The pain feels so real and hard. Losing someone you love can leave you feeling that you have a hole in your heart. It just sits there and all you just breathe through it. 

We know that it is a big struggle right now and also want you to know that at Simi Psychological Group we offer Grief counseling in Simi Valley. We are here to support you through this difficult time.

Below we will break down strategies for these 3 questions:  

Question 1: How do I manage grief while maintaining work responsibilities? 

Work continues forward and the list of “to do things” continues to pile on. Deep down you kind of want to get back to your work because it will help you get your mind off of things.  It’s important to give yourself the space to not be your 100% self. You need the space and time to get back to being you. Your heart needs time to heal. You may not be able to wrap your mind around everything. 

Come up with a breakdown or action plan that allows you to approach work in chunks. Having a game plan helps you go about your tasks with more intentionality and less stress. Break down your work into manageable parts so that you are not overwhelmed with needing to do too much at once. 

You may also consider talking to someone at work a bit about what is going on for emotional support. This will also help you feel a bit more room to “just be” rather than feeling a need to be a certain something for someone else. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable if your work environment allows you to do so. If you aren’t feeling that it is the right fit to share much with co-workers, possibly consider connecting with a loved one during your breaks to get the support you need to get through the day. 

It is also important to give yourself the time before and after work for some gentle reminders of kindness. Acknowledging that times are hard right now and it will get better. You are not alone through this. You may be ready to speak with a grief counselor in Simi Valley. Please know that we will be able to meet you where you are and support you in the process. 

Question 2: What strategies help in communicating grief to friends and family? 

Communicating your grief to your friends and family may be hard at times since you may not be able to find the “right” words yourself. Give yourself space to communicate in the way you need to in the moment you need. Releasing judgments and self criticisms is important when you communicate to friends and family. Oftentimes we get stuck in “how we think we need to be” rather than letting ourselves to just be human and raw. 

Take some deep breaths before communicating to your loved ones and consider asking yourself “what am I hoping to get out of sharing?” This may help you communicate what your needs are and share your hopes for the support itself. 

You may also be selective in who you share your struggles with. There may be some in your life that just may not be helpful to share too much right now- and that is okay. We can choose who we open up to during different times in our lives. We don’t need to get everything from everyone. You may feel that one friend in particular feels right for you to connect with during grief while others don’t- at least not right now- and that’s all okay. Be kind to your needs. The most important thing is to check in with yourself. Grief Therapy Simi Valley will offer you the support you need to explore within yourself during this time. 

Question 3: How can self-care routines be adapted to support someone going through grief?

You may find yourself having trouble enjoying the same things in the same ways as you did before- and that is completely normal and understandable. It is important to give yourself grace around the “shoulds” and allow for this to be a transitional time where things are different. However, it is still essential to engage in self care while you are grieving. Otherwise, you won’t be able to fill in your cup to handle the balance needed for work and relationships. 

Let’s say you typically go to yoga and you are having difficulty staying in the space and engaging in the practice as you normally would. Maybe a good adaptation is to take a yin yoga rather than a more active yoga. Or maybe you typically like to go on a hike at your favorite spot but you can’t seem to get the motivation to go. A good adaptation may be to go for a simple walk in your neighborhood. Self care while you are grieving doesn’t need to be any one way and there is no right or wrong. It is about asking yourself “what is something I can do to take care of myself?” and whatever the answer may be would likely be the right one. 

Keep in mind that self-care is something that adds to your cup not takes away. Substances and alcohol may seem like “it’s giving you a break” however it often leads to more removal from your resources than gains. Grief counseling in Simi Valley offers you support in easing the overwhelm so that you have the space to engage in self-care that adds into your life during this difficult time. 

All in all- grief and everyday life isn’t the easiest and it is important to be kind to yourself. Be kind to the amount of pressure you place on yourself. Be kind to yourself within your expectations. Be kind to yourself in allowing space to just be and feel what it is that you feel. Please know that you are not alone. At Simi Psychological Group, we are here to support you. Reach out today for a free consultation at (805) 842-1994

Written by, 

Donna Novak, Psy.D. 

Group practice owner of Simi Psychological Group. Our Simi Valley therapy practice offers a variety of services including anxiety therapy, trauma therapy, marriage counseling and couples therapy. Christian and spiritual counseling, and more. We are here to support you.